I just had the last raid of WotLK I will ever have and it spawned some introspection on my part. There are things that I simply never knew about myself that I’ve started to really see now.
1. I’m a raiding snob. Okay, that isn’t something I didn’t know, but I’m -really- a raiding snob, more so than I ever knew. Lack of progression sparks in me so many negative emotions that I finally have to realize that I’m one of “those people.” I used to think of myself as one of the level-headed types who supports people going with the the flow, that I would be happy in any raiding group where I could play with my friends. This is utter delusion on my part. Not being at the edge of progression, even at such a time as this, makes me filled with discomfort that turns into disappointment and rage if too much time goes by. It has even gotten to the point where I have started feeling that internal discomfort if other groups who I -do not raid with- are not as progressed as I feel they should be. Clearly, that is insane. Why should I care? Yet for some reason, I do.
2. I’m a healing snob. Again, not a big surprise, but it is again the sheer point that it is at that startles me. My brain gets locked in the spiral of “you are in ilevel 277 gear and I am in ilevel 251 gear on an alt, I should not be out healing you!” and becomes unable to escape. When I see people doing things that are sub-optimal, my gut becomes a roiling pit of unhappiness. Again, even if I am not raiding with them! Why should I care if someone is doing things crazily wrong if they are raiding on another server that I will never play on? More insanity on my part.
3. If they came out with an MMO that had a healing class that crouches behind big blocks, out of LoS of the boss, and healed using a sniper rifle, I would be the happiest gamer -ever.- I really love sniper rifles.
4. Writing novels is really hard and I now know that I would never want to do so for a living. I used to get all dreamy with the thought of becoming a real novelist, thinking about how great it would be to do it for a living, but in doing NaNoWriMo I have seen that it is all about slogging through a mucky middle that you simply do not want to write. I’m going to finish it, because it is way too late to give up, but I am not enjoying doing so.
5. Being a cyborg sounds really neat. I’d totally sign up for it.
6. Going along with that, I think I may hate “gut feelings” more than anything else in the world. Using “gut feelings” to make any sort of decision is so bizarre and unnecessary that it makes me sigh. There are facts out there if you look! Use those! Your brain is a million times more intelligent than your gut, so you should be using that to make decisions. If I became a cyborg, then my “guts” would be metal and full of computers. I can support that.
7. I have a love affair with logic. …which is slightly ironic, now that I think about it.
8. I shouldn’t blog early in the morning before work. It makes posts like this come out.
I’m staying on top of the healing game for Cataclysm, finally. I’ll have some things to say about it soon-ish, I’m thinking, especially about the absolutely rotten state of Mastery at all raiding levels. (Seriously, what were they thinking?) Stay tuned!